Tuesday With Merlin: Look Before You Leap

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Today’s revised ManCat Monday lesson is “Look Before You Leap” with Merlin and assistance from Nou Nou.

cat lessons merlin

Hello clever ones. Someone told me this blog went all wonky doodles on the weekend. Something about a WordPress update to the 4.2. which sounded good on paper until it wasn’t. Incompatible themes. Too much database hooey. Four years of comments bye bye and other nonsense. There was plenty of blonde human hair pulled out and way too much time spent with tech support peeps. Everything eventually turned out fine but why didn’t Layla listen to me? I could have told her to look before you leap, before pressing buttons that could blow up Bloggyville to smithereens.

As if that wasn’t enough, there is an annoying, furry creature named Nou Nou (When in blazes did we get another cat?) disturbing my sleep. I sleep under the covers in close proximity to warm, human skin. My old bones need the loving warmth. Domino never sleeps under the covers and Odin prefers chairs. Don’t ask. He’s a weirdo. He ducks under the covers at dawn for quickie mega purr/knead/sucky on Layla. Disgusting, I know but it doesn’t last long. By the way, I have never in 20.5 years had any bad habits or behavior. Well, there was the teddy bear massacre but that was yearsvintage cat lesson ago.

So, imagine my horror of bumping into the little squeaker. Nou Nou, our foster cat who shows no signs of leaving, has zero ability to meow and emits pitiful squeaks. Since I’m blind, I have no idea what the minx looks like but apparently she’s a wild, wee thing with a tail like a windshield wiper. Fine, she can stay as long as she keeps her distance. She’s managed to worm her way into my dad’s good graces. He calls her crazy, pinpall wizard movements endearing. I can hear her zooming all over the house at top speed squeaking like helium-filled banshee. Maybe it’s a happy dance after was all those months in a shelter cage and life before that with a hoarder. I cut her some slack but when she started lying her dead weight on top of me over the covers, I had to teach her a lesson. Why me? She doesn’t do it to anyone else. On Saturday, she did it again and I got up and pissed on her. Yes, I did. She exited in record time and hasn’t done it since.

Meanwhile, the camera shy opportunist is playing all nicey nice to Layla even posing like a brazen hussy hoping to rack up Brownie points. I know her ulterior motive is to suffocate me in my sleep so she can formally gain control of the others. Over my dead body. Well, I’m old but I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if that gray Mata Hari has her way. Lesson is over. And don’t press any odd buttons except to share.

Love, Merlin


17 thoughts on “Tuesday With Merlin: Look Before You Leap”

  1. well, Merlin is a wise old one. The Interwebbings – pfft! when they can’t behave as they’re told. Pfft.

    As for Nou Nou, she sounds adorable and I’m glad she has a nice home. Merlin, it’s OK! We still wuv you wots and wots.

  2. Oh dear Merlin! How DARE SHE lay on you…………poor little thing!
    Soooooooooooooooo artful of you to pee on her!
    We do need to cut her a bit of slack tho, she did come from a horrible situation.
    With all our loves and hopes that the puter issues soon go away!
    Skeeter and Izzy and the Feral Gang + Twig & Peanut & Romeo >^..^<

  3. dood…..we tried postin yesterday for 95 hourz…noe go…sew we sended ewe a monday merlin message ina bottle….hide tide taked it ta sea N washed it rite bak up on shore……faaaaaaaaaaa

    any mew….nou nou’s a way awesum cat….fora gurl….we noe bout de hole gurl izzue heer…dont we dai$y…..dai$y ??? uh, forget about her….

    any mew yur sisturzz aye oh kay too lee; N her said ta ree mind ewe….itz better ta bee pizzed off…than ta bee pizzed on ~~~~~~~ ♥♥♥

  4. Oh Merlin how you handled Nou Nou is really funny… Bet she didn’t see that coming. Poor Nou Nou though… mol – she probably likes you and thinks you are warm… not warm pee. Just warm.

    Hard to deal with young kitties when you just needs to be left alone though.

    My oldest Spunky Bear and my youngest at the time, Katie Kitty Too used to play together – I was so surprised at how well they got along… used to chase each other through the house.

    -Katie Kat.
    (and Mew Mew who has five kittens)

  5. i was very happy to see your post in my in-not today! Even though I can access your blog through Facebook, getting in my email insures I don’t miss a post.
    To the great Merlin I would say that I’ve always agreed with the saying, ‘Better Pissed Off than Pissed On” and I think you’ve taught Miss Nou Nou a lesson she’ll never forget. Hopefully she won’t disturb your sleep again.

    1. My in box, is where I’m always glad to see your post. These tiny screens are sending me back to the iPad. The only thing this silly iPhone does is ring, and I’ve muted that, so I think the iPad and I are meant to be. At least there I have a better chance of catching spell-checks help!

  6. Hope this gets through dearest Merlin. In a couple of weeks we celebrate my 17 (or thereabouts) years and mes in awe that yous is 3.5 years older than me…..wow.
    Now mes feels like the kitten. The cold damp weather has been making mes feel slow and achy and mes ever so happy that Mommy is home as she lets mes sleeps under the covers and snuggled tight (Daddy does not – mes ends up sleeping in my heated bed).
    Hope all your technical troubles is cured soonest, oh and don’t forgets to enters my Finish the sentence game today!
    Extra Kisses dear Merlin
    Nellie Bellie

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