Magic, Mysteries & Pawprints On The Heart
This is a brief observation of the magic and mystery after the death of a cat.
As many of you know, our dear Gris Gris died last week and I’d planned a tribute today but fate had other plans. A wicked snowstorm buried all evidence of the burial last Friday and I felt emotionally snowed under.
Odin, whined to go out early yesterday morning and I thought nothing of it. He loves the snow and I snuggled back under the duvet. When I got up, something drew me to look out the window and this view greeted me.
The butterfly marks the spot of Gris Gris’s grave and the footprints are Odin’s. I have no doubt he wanted to visit his friend.
It feels light-year’s ago but last Friday was sunny and warm enough to dig a grave wearing autumn clothing.
When Coco, Merlin’s sister died three years ago I was determined not to repeat the same digging fiasco. We tried digging in half dozen spots only to meet stubborn roots and resorted to a less than ideal location by the barn.
When a big tulip tree uprooted during a Nor’easter two years ago, the remaining root ball created a perfect burial mound. The tree stump sat on a lush mound of ivy, sprouted daffodils in the spring and day lilies in the summer.
A small cave-like opening revealed enough space to bury ten cats but I only wanted a spot for Merlin. I silently cheered: a space fit for a cat god and no digging required.
God and Mother Nature had other plans. Gradually the designated “burial mound” flattened and sunk. Last summer Odin loved nosing about the earthy hanging roots and I noticed the burial space had shrunk drastically. As long as there was enough space for one cat, I was happy. It never occurred to me the one cat would be anyone other than Merlin.
When Gris Gris died, digging the hard ground was out of the question. Hubby began clearing the earth by the burial mound but some large roots blocked the opening.
Here we go again. If nothing else, if you ever plan to bury your pet, please prepare well in advance.
The box we planned to bury him in wouldn’t fit through the opening. The only solution was scrapping the box and wrapping him in a cloth. But the cloth proved bulky and that meant more digging. I lost my temper and hubby stormed off.
Great. So, I’m on my knees, the cold, damp earth seeping through my jeans, furiously digging with a garden trowel, tears stinging my eyes. One day I’ll find the humor in the scenario but not yet.
Thank Bast, the bundle fit. I’d brought a Tibetan singing bowl for an angelic sounding send-off and said prayers.
Before hubby filled in the opening with earth, I decided to take a few last photos. The early shots, before placing the body inside looked normal but the last one had orbs surrounding him.
I’d like to think they were angelic helpers assisting Gris Gris to the great beyond. Any earlier anger evaporated and a peaceful aura settled around us as the low winter sun set.
While going through the Gris Gris photo files, I came across so many wonderful images I’ve never posted, I decided I couldn’t do him justice with simply a slapdash collage.
I’ll put together something meaningful with other stories in time but most of my energy is going into writing my book on holistic pet loss.
For those of us who actively document their cats’ lives with photos know how every image is precious once our subject is gone. Bloggers know how healing it is to write about their pets but
Every cat has a story and telling and re-telling their story is a healing balm during the grieving journey.
These aren’t the best shots of Gris Gris but they are last ones taken while he was alive and well. I studied them closely for any hint of death whispering in the wings but noticed no clues, at least not yet.
His death, like his life remains steeped in mystery. We happily sat on the sofa watching The Sound of Music five days before his final exit. He liked to sit near me in his usual aloof distance. Domino loves watching TV and usually sits on the nearby chaise but not this time. Odin napped in his heated Sleepypod oblivious to The Hills Are Alive…while Merlin sat (out of frame) on the chaise.
A cozy family scene days away from being shattered.
The last shot outdoors. Does Domino look concerned?
Gris Gris, my magic cat. The last shot of him facing me, if not directly.
To be continued, like life.
64 Comments
Bev Green
Such beautiful pictures and a lovely tribute to Gris Gris…when they leave us so unexpectedly it hurts in a different way..our Simba was shot in broad daylight..unexpected as we never got to say goobye..the choice was taken from us .he died at home but before we said our farewells..our Merlin we had to say goobye to just three months later..it hurt in a different way again as he had been sick with Feline Aids ..and the fact we were still grieving Simba’s loss made it almost unbearable..we decided to sell and move after Simba’s brutal death…the day we decide on this house i dreamt of Simba..i saw him running here full tail (he lost half a tail when alive) and happy.. i knew we made the right choice..i believe your Gris Gris was indeed visited by Odin…they know far more than us..sending love ndhugs at this trying time Fozziemum xxx
Kitties Blue
My heart goes out to you. Every loss is painful and heart wrenching, but the sudden ones are so much more difficult. No time for good-byes or to come to accept the inevitable. We lost both Thelma and Twinkle that way and Madison with only thirteen days notice. Gris Gris has such a lovely place to rest which you can visit often and his spirit will be with you always. We are all so blessed to have these very special creatures as part of our lives for as little or as much time as we are given. May your memories sustain you during this sad time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and look forward to you future posts about Gris Gris and your book. Hugs, Janet
Matt - Lightroom Presets
Sorry to hear about this, Layla. Beautiful cat.
Glogirly and Katie
This is such a beautiful tribute to your Gris Gris. Before I read the first line, the photo gave me chills. And then I read the first line.
Comforting purrs to you and your family. Furries and all.
Fly free sweet Gris Gris.
love,
GG
meowmeowmans
That was such a beautiful tribute to your beloved Gris Gris, Layla. We are all teary-eyed here. No joke.
I think you’ve found a perfect resting spot for him. Surely you are right about the orbs being angels!
Connie Marie
Such a moving and beautiful post. I automatically thought Gris Gris when I saw the footprints.
Silly me. His last picture is moving.
Grieving is such a difficult process, many pursss to help.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Thanks and actually you may be having a premonition. You’ll know tomorrow when you see our post.
Anonymous
That is a very nice resting place that you have arranged for Gris Gris <3
Sending lot of (((purrs))) and huggies
Carolyn
Ethereal is the word that comes to mind for that scene! Beautiful post! x
Layla Morgan Wilde
Carolyn, great word! Thank-you dear wordsmith.
Tamago
Telling about the stories does help in healing….the photos of Gris Gris are beautiful and I love the one of him facing you. I’m sure Odin wanted to visit Gris Gris at his grave.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Tamago, thanks so much for stopping by.
Texas, a cat in... Austin
That is a very nice resting place that you have arranged for him.
((((purrs))))
Layla Morgan Wilde
Texas, thanks, I like that metaphor “resting place” before the journey continues.
Andrea
I truly understand how such a loss can feel. This time last year Mewdy Blue was recovering from his near-death collapse and I was taking a needed breath of relief. Little did I know that it would be Question who had to leave the next month, rather suddenly, instead. He was always healthy, never a problem. But that horrific disease FIP came into being within his system and took him way too quickly.
Now Mewdy Blue and Lady Butterfly are both gone as well. And it is almost too much to handle. Sky Voice is the last of his colony remaining and I can tell he still mourns the others.
That picture of snow in your yard is just beautiful, Layla. I think snow is the one redeeming quality of this season. It helps to costume the brown, dormancy of the land and make things much brighter.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Andrea, my heart goes out to you. You’ve had unimaginable loss and hope 2014 is much brighter for you.
Cynthia Southern
What a nice tribute Odin had for Gris Gris. Cats know these things and I think cats are very spiritual beings who have an innate sense of our sadness, sickness and the loss of their buddies. He probably could sense where Gris Gris was buried by smell and also by that innate spiritual ability. I hope you are doing okay. Hang in there and I hope the year gets better.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Cynthia, thanks kindly. Cats are innately spiritual and why they make such wonderful teachers for us humans.
Katnip Lounge
No doubt in my mind that Odin wanted to pass the time of day with Gris Gris. My crew will spat everywhere in the house EXCEPT the table where I keep the ashes of our Angels, and I think there’s a reason for that.
I hope Gris Gris’ spirit will visit you and give you comfort.
Layla Morgan Wilde
I love hearing stories of cats paying their respects and honoring angel cats.
Cathy Keisha
I’m so sorry your Gris Gris made plans and told no one. He’ll be sorely missed. After Nicky & Autumn passed, TW looked through recent pics of them and could see how unhealthy they looked, even though it seemed sudden. She’d never noticed their decline. Comforting purrz.
On a different note, one of my Twitter furrend’s huMum passed away after Christmas. Jessie will never tweet again and no one knows if a family member took her or if she was send to a certain death in a shelter. Life continues.
Layla Morgan Wilde
CK, thanks, yes, life goes on and mysteries continue.
Sue Brandes
Your post brought tears Layla. It was so moving. My thoughts are with you. Hugs.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Sue, thank-you for your good thoughts.
Flynn
This is a lovely tribute to Gris Gris, and the burial place looks perfect.
When Flynn goes out into the garden, every morning without fail he walks over to Eric’s grave and pauses there for a few seconds before walking on. He has taken on a lot of Eric’s mannerisms that he never had before. I don’t know if he is making a conscious effort to do that or if it is Eric letting us know that he is with Flynn and so with us. I feel his presence often and also hear the floor creaking as he heads towards our bedroom. I know it is not Flynn because he is already on the bed.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Thank-you so much for sharing about Flynn paying respects and Eric’s visits. I’d love to hear more.
Sweet Purrfections
Such a beautiful tribute to Gris Gris. We’ll always ask if there was more that we could do, but the important thing to remember was that you loved him and provided the best care. Treasure your photos because they’ll bring back those happy memories.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Yes, the photos are treasures and thanks for stopping by.
Brian
That was a wonderful tribute to such a wonderful soul. We know your heart will eventually smile with the loving memories.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Brian, thanks, he truly was a good soul and we will smile again.
Caren Gittleman
Layla this was just beautiful, you did Gris Gris proud, I am teary eyed…sending you ((((hugs)))
Layla Morgan Wilde
Caren, purrs of thanks and I’d like to think GG is smiling that funny crooked smile of his.
Melissa
I’m sitting here crying, your words are so beautiful. That photo is so poignant. Tara will have been gone for six months this coming Tuesday and I stink have to write about her. She is still such a huge piece of my heart.
Melissa
I “still” have to write about her…darn auto correct!
Layla Morgan Wilde
Melissa, there are no rules about writing about the grieving process. It floors me how some pop out eloquence on day one. I know I couldn’t. Some takes weeks or months and blogging is another story. If you can jot down notes in a private journal, that may help your process. Sending you puurrrrs.
nadbugs
That photo in the snow captures so much beauty . . . . I like thinking of the snow as a blanket of soothing cool, for a hurting heart. Pawpats to you.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Anita, thanks. I love that imagery and metaphor. The garden is not its prettiest and the snow covers it in pristine beauty.
Bethany
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts. Gris Gris was beautiful.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Bethany, thanks so much for your kind words. He was pretty special.
Athena
My mum and I are so sorry for your loss.
Purrs xx
Layla Morgan Wilde
Athena, many thanks.
Penelope
At first they need us, and then we need them. Gris-Gris will always be with all of you.
Wishing you comfort and peace during this difficult time.
Kisses
Nellie’s Mom
Joanne
My heart goes out to you
Angel Abby
I found your post very moving and so befitting of your beloved Gris Gris. One thing stood out for me personally, as to how I relate and how loss has affected me. It was this line which you bolding emphasized:
Every cat has a story and telling and re-telling their story is a healing balm during the grieving journey.
One thing I noticed repeatedly in trying to ease my pain of loss was that it was (IS) extremely important to the process of mourning to retell stories over and over and over. It’s not that you are being maudlin, you are actually celebrating their life and yes there are tears and yes there is sadness and yes it makes your heart break, but in this process it also heals your heart. You are sharing them as if they were (are) here. I see their death now as an extension of life, a different life, but a spiritual life, they are still with us Layla, and you with your special skills feel Gris Gris with you I know you do. Only his earthly body left, but his lifelong Spirit remains. He still has lots of stories to share.
Hugs to you.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Your stories about Abby are healing gems. My hope is one day everyone will feel more comfortable talking and sharing stories of life and death.
Deb Barnes - Zee and Zoey
There is no doubt that cats leave paw prints in our heart and I look forward to reading more about Gris Gris. Even though my Jazz has been gone for months, I feel the need to include him in my posts. It remains therapeutic for me and I know he has not quite left me. As you know, I see his presence about me – it has lessened to some degree, but yesterday he came back to me very strongly and stayed longer than usual. Not sure what he is trying to tell me, but I am certain there is a message for me…
Layla Morgan Wilde
Jazz is trying to get your attention. I’ll email you.
Skeeter and Izzy
When the time is right we will all be here to hear and see Gris Gris’ story told. There is a reason why you cannot do it yet and we will wait.
We think that hubby may be hurting more than he may admit to and that could have contributed to the loss of temper. The burial spot is purrfect for a Muse like Gris Gris. You might think that Coco’s resting place is not ideal but we believe that there is a reason why she and the forces around us chose that spot for her.
We hold you all and everyone else that has lost a little soul close in our hearts and prayers. We send purrs,love and soft kitty kisses to you.
Love Skeeter and Izzy and the Feral Gang + Twig and Peanut and Romeo >^..^<
I am so thankful to have them all.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Thanks for soft kitty kisses and purrs. You’re right about hubby hurting. We are grieving in our own styles and clashes can occur. Thankfully we have enough awareness they don’t last long 🙂
Cherry City Kitties
we’re sure you didn’t see Tipp’s “Touched by an angel” post with everything going on, but you’ll see that we KNOW that those orbs are very, very special things. Sending you love and purrs…
Layla Morgan Wilde
Loved seeing Tipp’s angel orb!
Sometimes, Cats Herd You
Thank you for sharing this with us. It looks like a perfect burial spot, where you (and Odin!) can visit to talk to him. Many purrs to you, Odin, and the rest of the family as you navigate these difficult days.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Thanks so much. It will be a special spot to pause and I’ll be adding a bench for that purpose in the spring.
Fuzzy Tales
Purrs from us as well, that’s a lovely post–and a wonderful, magical (we think) burial spot.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Purrrrs back! It’s a magic and faery-filled garden.
Sammy
Lovely and loving post Layla….That’s a rather magical burial spot for Gris Gris and I would imagine that one day – hopefully far away – Merlin will be able to join him there with no great amount of digging as it looks like a “cave for two”. I think that photo of the snow and Odin’s footprints out to visit his friend is so dear. The boys were quite close while still being so very different from each other in every way. They feel the empty space like we do. This incredible cold spell makes us want to hold them closer though doesn’t it…..Will look forward to more photos of Gris Gris – your magic boy.
Hugs, Pam (and Sam)
Layla Morgan Wilde
Thanks kindly. I hope it won’t take too much digging but I’m already scouting alternatives. You’re right about the cold and we send warm snuggies to you and Sam
Katie Kat
Just finding out about Gris Gris passing… My thoughts and purr prayers are with you.
Our feline companions are so amazing – how they know things. When my grandparents passed away (1999), our family cat, a Russian Blue, wanted to head west toward the cemetery miles and miles away. At least that’s what she tried to tell Dad and me. When I told her that it was too far away, she looked up at us and then trotted back to the house.
Denise
I’m sitting here in our kitchen at quarter of two in the morning heating up snuggle discs in our microwave because it’s so cold outside and my outdoor cats need a little extra warmth in addition to their electric heating pads. I just read your blog about Gris Gris’s internment and suddenly I’m grateful for my small inconvenience. It’s in the middle of the night and I’m tired and it’s chilly in the kitchen….but I’m very content. I have suffered pet loss too, many times, and there is no pain like it. I am sending you and your household healing energy and love. This was a beautiful piece Layla.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Denise, thanks kindly. I need to find out about these snuggle disks.
Bernadette
What a lovely site to buried, and I’m sure Gris Gris had something very important to say to Odin. I look forward to regularly seeing photos of Gris Gris, and he will always be a part of this family of felines. It’s so strange when death comes that quickly and unexpectedly, I think of you in your journey.
Layla Morgan Wilde
B, many thanks! I love how you’ve incorporated past and present kitties in your work.
Sparkle
Purrs to you as you continue through your grieving process.
Layla Morgan Wilde
Thanks and purrrrrs back.