Mondays With Merlin: Walk With Compassion Not Pity
Happy Monday, dear ones. I’m here today to talk about walking with compassion and not pity. I bet you’ve never seen me, Merlin from this perspective. It serves to illustrate the old “walk a mile in your shoes” quote (not that cats need or want shoes). This cat’s eye view also helps you giant humans see what cats see. When you stand over us, it’s like King Kong. Even when you crouch over, it’s better but you still tower over us. If you lie face down on the floor and lift your head a smidge, that’s about the right height to see eye-to-eye. Then again, if you like your creature comforts like me, you can see eye-to-eye in bed (yours not your cat’s bed which depending on your home may be one and the same). In any case, try not to judge my journey, or anyone else’s until you walk in their shoes or footsteps.
You know cats like to be literal but let’s get back to the metaphor. It’s easier to judge, criticize, roll your eyes with disdain about nearly anything, but if you could pause for a moment and rewind, replace the snap judgment with a dollop of compassion everyone will feel better. Someone could look at me walking like the ancient old man that I am and feel pity. Please don’t do that. I may look old and doddering but I had an excellent week. I was positively frisky on my garden walks and yes, I am smelling a slight hint of autumn.
Pity is not compassion. Pity has an element of condescension. Oh, you poor thing, while secretly thinking thank Cod, it’s not me, my cat, my life. Pity separates. It’s the unfortunate beggar, downtrodden person, creature, situation there and the one doing the pitying on another level. Pity may elicit help, an action, donation but usually from obligation or to appease a guilty conscience. Compassion comes from the Latin word compassio which means “co-suffering”. It’s a feeling of wanting help relieve suffering with no strings, no judgement, no agenda but simply a genuine desire from the heart.
May your week be free from suffering. May you enjoy moments of joy, peace and ease.
Love,
Merlin
54 Comments
meowmeowmans
Merlin, you are a very wise kitty. Wishing you many more good days, dear pal.
Pawesome Cats
You are very wise Merlin – thanks for a thought provoking piece!
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks dear Aussie friends!
Sue
Oh Merlin, you sweet and wise cat. Your post really resonated with me. I have lived half a century and if I live another fifty years I will never have the wisdom you have. For most of my life I have lived in chronic pain and I have been on the receiving end of pity and disdain. As I was growing up I would hear “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That is a lie. Words can hurt more then a wound. I would dearly love to have my critics walk the path that I have walked and experience the deep aches and stabbing pain of Lupus. Then maybe they would have some compassion for people with Invisible Diseases.
May you have more pain free days then pain filled.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Sue, thanks for addressing invisible diseases. Someone could look fine and healthy but be in terrible physical or emotional pain. And yes, words can and do cut deeply. The words we use and behavioral behind them (helpful or harmful) is a learned behavior in early childhood. Merlin sends you gentle purrs.
speedyrabbit
You’re Pawsome Merlin,xx Speedy
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
So happy to see my bunny friend here!
The Swiss Cats
Very sweet post, Merlin, and very wise too : the difference between compassion and pity is not always clear for everyone. Purrs
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks dear Swiss friends!
Sweet Purrfections
Very wise of you, Merlin. It’s so easy to judge instead of having compassion for those we feel are different.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
That’s the key about compassion, treating everyone the same as if there was no difference.xoxo
Katie Isabella
I have tears. I am so glad I read this and I am a proponent of this very compassion that you wrote of here.
Merlin, I love you. I love your spirit and your beauty. I am glad to know you my little love. XXOO
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks so much for stopping by and apologies for not being able to visit more often.
Flynn
I am glad you had a good week Merlin. You are wise and an inspiration to me.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Flynn, you’re a special one indeed as are your mum and dad xoxoxo
Ellen Pilch
Nice post sweet Merlin.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Ellen, I’m speaking the meezer truth, best I can 🙂
Brian Frum
You are always my hero Merlin!
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
And your dad is our hero for all he does for cats!
Cathy Keisha
Great post and point. So glad you had a good week. Please keep it up for as long as your spirit allows.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks CK, we’re playing it day by day but what a lovely day it was.
jansfunnyfarm
A very good and true post!
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Jan, thanks for your support, always…
Austin Towers
Merlin you are an inspiration to us all!!
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks, we love your tuxie wisdom!
Caren Gittleman
This was truly beautiful…thank you for sharing xoxo
catchatwithcarenandcody
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Purrrrrs to you dear Caren and Cody!
Mugg
Hey Merlin I have authorized Layla to give you some rear rubs. Enjoy.
Mugg
OOPS! That should have been EAR
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Cats love rear rubs so that’s okay!
maggie
How can we pity you Merlin? You are a happy cat secure in the arms and hearts of your people. You are wise to enjoy life regardless of the passage of time.
Wishing you the kiss of healing sun on your dear self.
xxoo
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks Maggie, we’ll take all the warm healing sun. It feels soooo good.
Kathryn
You really are very wise, Merlin. And very beautiful.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Beauty comes in all forms, fur sure 🙂
Annabelle
Merlin we do hold no pity. We see you as resilience itself. We also see the signs of age and illness. There is a badge of courage for both. As they say growing old is not for sissies. Mom says she think it very brave of your Mom to photograph you and show your true self. Our Mom still is not brave enough not to photoshop Abby’s photos from her final two weeks. She didn’t (doesn’t) want to show how ravaged she was by her diseases. Maybe one day she’ll be brave enough, she’s only beginning to accept what the photos show. So your Mom is far more accepting of the cycle of life, aging and growing angel wings. Big hugs Merlin. We are purring for Autumn.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
We purr with you and I hope one day there is more universal acceptance of all stages of life. End stages aren’t pretty but they can be photographed with dignity. There are a number of photo book of human subjects in the process of dying and they are beautifully heroic.
Melissa & Mudpie
You are so wise, Merlin. Wishing you many more wonderful days, sweetheart.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thank-you and sending purrs to you.
Sue Brandes
Enjoy your week sweet Merlin.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
So far so good. Sue, enjoy yours 🙂
Skeeter and Izzy
Pity? Why would we pity you dear one? If anything we would envy you. You have a life filled with love and care and your well being and health are top concern for your peeps. We try to feel compassion for all living things. Animals are never in question for that, people on the other hand can make it very difficult to feel but we try.
We love you dearest Merlin and wish you many more wonderful, joy filled days with good health and happiness!
Peace and love,
Skeeter and Izzy and the Feral Gang + Twig & Peanut & Romeo >^..^^..^<~
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
We know you don’t pity me but there are many strangers who land here. Purrs to you and the entire fur fam.
Hannah and Lucy
Merlin you sound so wise and we wish you an ease from your aches and pains.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks dear girls, the aches are better thanks to a supplement for arthritis to help me walk better.
The Island Cats
Merlin, you are so wise. May you continue to have more good days than bad.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Yes, that’s what it’s all about now.
Summer
Purrs to you, Merlin, and may you enjoy as many garden walks as you choose.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Thanks dear Summer.
easy rider
Merlin that was a great part of cat wisdom you shared with me today…and I will keep that in my mind and I will write it down in my CATalog. Hugs to my bestest mentor :o)
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Easy, you’re an open-minded dog to be mentored by a cat. xoxoxox
ellen
Merlin, like every meezer you are a wise soul.
What people ‘see’ often is not exactly how people , cats or other creatures feel. They may look old, they may look different than they used to, but inside beats a heart that is special.
It sounds although you are still having great days smelling autumn coming on and knowing the cold season approaches .Youre still feeling the friskies and you remember with a small smile. You’re thinking of warm laps or a sunny window watching winter through the glass.
Pity? No dear meezer, I see a noble boy who has had a long life filled with love. That’s to be envied, not pitied, To love and be loved is what it’s all about, and you have it all.
Hearing of your ‘bad’ days, is a hope tomorrow will bring a better one for you.
Peace be to you Merlin, and may you enjoy the garden until it gets too chilly out there for your liking. Layla will take you into the warmth like she always has and that is what it’s about- thats love.
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Ellen, you’re a wise one too. I do have a cozy, cashmere sweater for cooler weather and the plan is sit on the porch I love wrapped in a blankie until the frost comes.
Cary H
~Layla~
Wishing you and your family peace and joy as well and for Merlin, an ease from suffeting. Your posts always make me think. Thank you!
Layla Morgan Wilde (Cat Wisdom 101)
Cary, thank-you, that is one of the reasons we do what we do.